Freaks

So I've just finished watching my birthday present, 'Freaks'. Oh. My. JesuseffingmotherofGoddoinglolrandomthingslikemakingdifficultdecisionsbetweenlettuceandshoe...

These guys are AMAZING.
Now, I'd have loved to have taken some screen shots but I don't yet know how to do that, so Google will have to do.

First, meet 'The Children'



That's right; they are all tiny balding half men-women with ponytails in dresses. I have to admit, I want one. Christmas coming up soon - who's gonna get me one? :D

Then there was the INSANELY CREEPY GUY WHO HAS NO ARMS OR LEGS WHO WRITHES ON THE FLOOR LIKE A SNAKE IN A TIGHT SACK. At times you can see his penis. Mm.

This is he, rolling a cigarette - I kid you not.



There's a brilliant bit in it where a whole load of them are aggressively standing around this woman who's poisoning her dwarf husband because he has a very large inheritance. He's all, "show me the bottle" but she doesn't want to so his friends all bring out increasingly large weapons and begin to polish them insinuatingly.
[First guy - a dwarf with a large face - removes a knife.]
*polishes it.*
[Second guy - a man with no legs - removes a gun.]
*polishes it.*
[Third guy - a man with super thin arms, playing a pipe - removes the Hadron Collider.]
*polishes it.*

Then they all writhe like an army of worms through the rain and the mud to go and kill this woman and turn her into a chicken.

The really scary thing is that most of them don't have any legs, so they really do writhe.